Considering the nature of this website, for reasons of discretion I won’t reveal my full name here. You can call me CW a.k.a. Visionary Universe.
I live in the Netherlands in a small town close to Amsterdam.
My exploration of consciousness, visionary plants and spirituality has never been a straight line. All my conscious life I was interested in looking beyond the surface of what we call our everyday reality.
I come from a family where spiritual development wasn’t encouraged. It wasn’t forbidden either for religious reasons you name it, but there was little awareness in our family that the spiritual aspect of life exists. My parents’ primary concern was survival – to make money to pay our bills, food, family vacations.
When I was little I was incessantly asking my mother “What is God?” – annoyed at not knowing what to answer she told me: “Don’t ask these questions, nobody knows!”. And so my quest continued without any definite answer in sight.
School was awful. I didn’t feel home at school, worse yet I hated being told what to do and opposed any instruction coming from outside.
School was funny too. Since I was born in the former USSR our school days were saturated with Soviet propaganda. We were told that we were the happiest children on the planet, shown pictures of other children exploited by Uncle Sam, then again back to the drawing board – we were happy just by the sheer fact that we were Soviet children. That was of course the early 1980s. Believing that I was happy felt alien to me. I didn’t feel that way inside.
Then the early 90s. A friend had invited me to go on a retreat. What retreat don’t ask me. I didn’t know then and neither do I know now what it was. There was a 100+ people talking of the workings of the universe, WTF am I doing here was I thinking? Then a day later, a shift in my perception happens. It was so profound that it blew my mind away. I was blasted. Oh my God, who and where am I now? I see all these colours, to every question I have almost an instantaneous answer. Why is it happening to me and what is the meaning of it all?
A couple of years passed. I immigrated to the Netherlands. Then in November of 2004 after a very toxic relationship and a heartbreaking break-up I awoke in the middle of the night with my awareness floating over my body. A shock came over me. How come my body is lying down on my bed and at the same time I am looking at myself from a completely different point in the room?
The days that followed were both beautiful and extremely challenging. Apart from seeing colours, gaining insight and perceiving geometric patterns in nature I was a complete emotional wreck. I was riding the emotional roller coaster so high that I had absolutely no idea I would ever be able to put my feet on the ground.
The year 2005 was both beautiful in terms of spiritual growth and extremely difficult because everything that could go wrong at the time went wrong. I lost my job. Couldn’t, and didn’t want to find another one as I wasn’t ready for it emotionally. Friends of course helped me both financially and by encouragement that everything in the end would be alright. And alright it was. But only after a year of continuous reading, meditating and inquiring into myself.
With visionary plants I came in contact both by chance and by design. I had heard from a friend that he drank this strange brew called Ayahuasca. I was interested in hearing his stories but what’s in it for me? Is it an organised psychedelic party where everyone is dealt out a cup? Fast-forward two years and here I am drinking Ayahuasca myself. A beautiful, profound and life-changing experience! From that moment I am never the same and my exploration into the world of visionary plants and spirituality continues.
I hope you will enjoy staying on VisionaryUniverse.com and learn something new,