The Love We Shared – Psilohuasca Retreat Holland, Jul 19 – 21

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The Ceremony

Intake: 3g Peganum Harmala (MAO inhibitor), 2g dried Psilocybe Semilanceata

Peganum Harmala

After a great day of sharing our personal experiences, swimming and chilling out to beautiful music, at about 8pm we gathered around the table for the intake of Peganum Harmala seeds.

“O” briefly explained what Peganum H. did, then asked us in turn how every one of us would like to take it, in powder form or in capsule form? I personally chose to take the powder because I like to come in contact with the plant through gustation before I consume it. A few other people preferred to take the capsules.

There were two options for rinsing Peganum H. down too. Some preferred water, while others cocoa-flavored milk drink.

“O” had ground Peganum H. beforehand so there was no need to chew on the seeds. It was quite easy to take the powder in and as I downed it with water the Peganum H. left not too bad an aftertaste in my mouth.

Every one of us took 3g of Peganum Harmala seeds as according to “O” it was sufficient for inducing a deep psychedelic experience.


Psilocybe SemilanceataAfter about an hour had passed we gathered on our mattresses in the room were the ceremony was to be held. “O” started to distribute the mushrooms. The dosages and the choice of species were for every individual different, in accordance with everyone’s wishes of course. Some preferred a stronger effect and others milder.

I requested that I’d like to take the most potent mushroom species “O” had in store for us and the highest dose possible for that evening. We agreed on 2g Semilanceata, which according to “O” was approx. 5% more potent than the other psilocybe, Semperviva.

After we were done with the mushroom intake everyone went to their mattress and lay down. The big journey of transformation through time and space began!

The Challenge. Why Fear Death, Celebrate It!

I like to challenge my ego with higher doses of psychedelics because I like to encounter the unknown and remotely somehow even enjoy the feelings of trepidation before the BIG experience. I don’t scare myself with all the “what if’s”, boring safety rules, and I don’t read stories of “bad trips” by other psychonauts.

Every trip has the potential to transform. IMHO, there’s no such thing as a bad trip. So it’s up to us not to deem our experiences as good or bad but go with them judgement-free and with gratitude. In doing so we don’t allow our fear to control us and we create space for Plant Spirit to work with us from the very core of our souls.

I don’t see a reason for fearing death either. If death is only an aspect of the experience that we call Life then fearing to die, either physically or metaphorically, is basically fearing to live, and this is crazy!

The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows. ― Socrates

It is because we humans fear death that so many of us on this planet choose to settle in our comfort zones and never reach our true potential.

Shooting for a higher dose meant for me dying alive and celebrating death. I was exercising my true authentic freedom to travel as far and deep within my soul as the psychedelic could possibly allow me. I just wanted to go with the experience and come out on the other side a different person than I was before the trip and for that I needed my ego to die, if only for a while…! Story continues…

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  1. What a fantastic report. Magically written and deeply inspiring.

  2. Bailey James says:

    Without a doubt well written, hair raising and flow adrenal. A lifting read indeed.

    • Visionary Universe says:

      Thanks for your encouraging comment. Yes, it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever attended. In October, I will be again in another Psilohuasca ceremony with the same people from last time. Another epic post will follow…

  3. You write beautifully my darling**Thanks for sharing

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